10 reasons not to attend the Inauguration

We know you are all giddy about Mr. Barrack Hussein Obama and his little gay crack smoking party that is getting ready to take place 01.20.09, but we wanted to remind you of 10 really good reasons to stay home that day.

Don’t get all caught up in the fluff . . . there is plenty to remember other than taking your sunscreen and polygraph machines.

So here are the top 10 reasons to not go to the Inauguration Day Celebration.

#1 - Crowds of liberal lovers!

The end of the Roman civilization and the Greek civilization had this in common. They were gay lovers. Since we know Obama is a closet homosexual, who is going to do all he can for “gay rights” (like they needed a right to ram each other), we also know he is going to be the un-doing of America. Don’t be a liberal lover!

#2 - No old people in wheel chairs?

How can you go to a gay crack smoking party without old people? No wheelchairs allowed? . . . So let me get this straight, no one with a disability is allowed to attend the big party? . . . HOO THAT’S GENIUS!. . Way to go Obamadouchebag!

#3 - No kids in strollers

I cite the example to #2 . . . except it’s true that kids don’t belong at gay crack smoking parties anyway. I always remember my mom telling me that and to not run with scissors.

#4 - Bars close at 4 am the night before?

How in the world are you going to keep you buzz going all day? Stay home and watch re-runs of Rosanne.

#5 - Hotels are booked up.

You will have to sleep in a tent if you want to go. Try booking up a hotel now and it’s no dice. Assuming you already booked it up; we encourage you to sell it on craigslist to the highest bidder.

#6 - You have to walk a long way!

Think you are going to park close and stroll right up? Think again! How will you travel that great distance with no wheel chair? See point number 2.

#7 - Obama will swear (good thing there are not kids)

He has too . . . what kind of man swears on a Bible anyway? Isn’t that kind of bad? I always saw guys swearing when they were at the bar or holding playboys . . . but never a bible! WAIT WAIT WAIT, except for Rev. Jeremiah Wright!

#8 - Joe Biden looks funny.

Need we explain more?

#9 - Black Liberation Theology is not Americas Religion

So what religious affiliation is Barack Obama now? He has dropped out of the Black Liberation Theology and has not re-joined a church. Probably because he is heading for the Mosque. . . . is Jeremiah going to give the inaugural prayer?

#10 - Obama is the main event???

I just want to cry! I forgot, Obama is the main event . . . who in their right mind would want to attend based on that!