President Obama, No Means No
April 22, 2010 by Michael Lockheart · Leave a Comment
An open letter to our Beloved Leader, Barack Hussein Obama
Dear President Obama,
With all due respect, what is it about the polls you don’t get? The majority of people, including me, think you’re on the wrong track. Please try a different one. Maybe Amtrak.
Your failed policies of the past (year) are giving me hemorrhoids. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to respect me in the morning, and the check (for my taxes) is in the mail. That being said, what I really want you to hear is no.
No, I don’t want higher taxes. Duh! Even if Vice-President Biden thinks it’s patriotic.
No, I don’t want Obama Care. Keep your fingers out of my wife’s reproductive organs.
No, I don’t want Cap and Trade. Or as I like to call it, Crap and Tirade.
No, I don’t want socialism. I don’t care what 53% of Democrats say.
No, I don’t want terrorists tried in civilian courts. I want them shot. I’ll even pull the trigger.
No, I don’t want bigger government. Not everything is better when bigger, despite what Michelle says.
No, I don’t what you to stimulate me again. I didn’t want pork-barreled in the first place. You forced me against my will.
Mr President, no, no, no and no. Do you know what that means? No means no!
Look, I’ll understand if you don’t want to stand in front of a train, but could you please get on one? Might I suggest one heading for Venezuela. I think you’ll feel right at home there.
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Liz Cheney Reminds You to Be Afraid
April 5, 2010 by Michael Lockheart · Leave a Comment
Keep America Safe — Liz Cheney’s non-profit media nightmare factory — just released its response to Barack Obama’s STFU address…
Oh God! This Barack Obama mad man is going get us all killed with his “dangerous” policies and casually open tuxedo shirt! He wants to give Khalid Sheikh Mohammed a trial just a few blocks away from the World Trade Crater?! What if he escapes, climbs into a double-parked Boeing 757 and flies into it all over again?!
And what’s all this about the underwear bomber being read his rights in accordance with the Supreme Court’s landmark Miranda v. Arizona decision way back in 1966?! When did that shit start happening? It sounds kind of crazy and reckless to me. Especially with those terrifying minor chords being played over it. Terrifying!
All I can say is, thank God we have reasonable Liz Cheney around to keep America safe from not being scared shitless.
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The Year in Baracksploitation
March 19, 2010 by Michael Lockheart · Leave a Comment
The good folks at InfoMania put together this retrospective on Barack-inspired gadgets, dolls, and food products. It’s nice to know that capitalism is still alive and well under the current socialist-leaning administration.
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Obama LIES on Earmarks
March 12, 2010 by Michael Lockheart · 1 Comment
Barack Obama has LIED AGAIN on one of his central campaign promises: No more earmarks on spending bills. But don’t take our word for it. Here’s it is without the help of his teleprompter:
Obama may be the LIAR In Chief, but he isn’t the Lone LIAR . . . back in January of 2009 Nancy Pelosi raised her hand in the air on national TV and pledged to Wolf Blitzer that there would be no earmarks or pork barrel spending in the so-call economic recovery bill. It took Pelosi about a week for her to break that promise.
No surprise, then, that the Obamacare bill contains hundreds of millions of dollars in earmark spending to help “buy” the support of key Demoncat senators. Chuck Norris points out a number of such scandalous back door dealings. If only America could send Norris to Congress to kick their butts back into line.
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I Was Just Practicing
March 5, 2010 by Michael Lockheart · Leave a Comment
Change You CAN’T Believe In!
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